The Sea Of Infocrap

I pulled out a map of the world today and had a huge and disappointing revelation.

My map is not accurate.

My map is flawed and missing a very important landmark.

I was able to point to my birth place in Pennsylvania and I located Scotland, UK where my lovely friend, Heather Bestel of “Mum’s Got A Business”, resides. 

And let me tell you … Heather lives in the middle of nowhere … and it’s absolutely gorgeous.

Pointing to the major bodies of water all over the world was easy, too. 

Of course, I can drive a few miles and dip my toes in the Pacific Ocean.  No need to look that one up.

However, there’s one major body of water that’s missing from my map …

The Sea Of Infocrap.

I know it exists because I’ve taken a swim in it many times.  

The waters are horribly frigid — intolerably cold, in fact.  It’s an icy swim that leaves you shivering with chills.  

I’ve had a few instances where I nearly drowned.

Have you taken a swim in it or sailed the waters of The Sea Of Infocrap?

Do any offshore diving?

Visit any ports?

Explore any caves?

Feel free to share the crappiest crap you’ve uncovered on your journey.

Be specific.  

Please help me pinpoint The Sea Of Infocrap on the map.

 

Photo credit:  cath @ chunkycooky on Flickr

  • Ahmed Hamdalla

  • Oh…now THIS was funny ! Although I can’t tell you exactly where the Sea Of Infocrap is, I can tell you where the Hills Of Abject Enlightenment is: halfway between my kitchen and bathroom. I call it my office.

    By the way, I found your blog via a link from Ramblings of a WAHM. Love ’em both.

  • Very nice blog you have here, Melanie. It’s a good thing you write for WeBlogBetter, because College of Content would not have known about your blog, had you not posted that “guest blog” on WeBlogBetter.com. You’re doing a fantastic job in your guest writing and blogging efforts. Keep doing what you’re doing!

    • So sweet of you to pop over from We Blog Better — thanks!

      My posts on WBB are “sort of” guest posts. You see … I’m a team member there. 😉

      Appreciate the kudos and vote of confidence. Wishing you the best, too.

      Write On!!

  • Hey Mel,

    You had me going … I thought about the Burmuda Triangle and that shifting island the Losties inhabited for a long while. The Sea of Infocrap!! I majored in Geography but it looks like it should have been Archeology so as to find this hidden body of icy cold waters! 🙂

    The sad part of this journey is hiring an expensive “Coach” who makes you walk the gangplank (with a smile) and encourages you to willingly dive off the end into a built-in cesspool (I mean a “mini on-board replica of the Sea of Infocrap”) … Waits a bit while you wallow, err swim … Then hands you a towel, gives you a wave, and says “See ya next week!”

    Thanks for the imagery here, Mel, and a nice guffaw to carry me through the week. 😉

    • Oh, Vernessa …

      Have I told you lately that I love you?!

      I haven’t laughed this hard since Arnold Schwarzenegger was governor of California!! LOL! 😉

      This is PRICELESS …

      The sad part of this journey is hiring an expensive “Coach” who makes you walk the gangplank (with a smile) and encourages you to willingly dive off the end into a built-in cesspool (I mean a “mini on-board replica of the Sea of Infocrap”) … Waits a bit while you wallow, err swim … Then hands you a towel, gives you a wave, and says “See ya next week!”

      Let me know when you start your freelance writing career — I’ll refer you to everyone I know. 🙂

      Big hugs,
      Mel

      • Alas, Mel, I’m still up (it’s 12:58am on the East Coast) … But I get to say, you’ve officially made my morning! LOL No, I don’t think we’ve had a hugfest lately so consider yourself hugged back. *chuckle*

        I soooo want to see the Pacific! (Aren’t you near Carson or Carmel or somewhere cool like that?) I’m due to head that way later this year, once my client makes up her mind about the schedule. When we get together, we’ll laugh so hard at our collective silliness, people around us will wonder how we ever manage to get any serious work done.

        Maybe we can suck up the Sea of Infocrap with the latest Hoover! (They get stronger every year.)

        Loved this post, girl. Where do you come up with this stuff?

        • Honestly, v …

          You’ve got to STOP!! I’m laughing so hard now, tears are streaming down my face!

          “Maybe we can suck up the Sea of Infocrap with the latest Hoover! (They get stronger every year.)”

          LOL!!!!!!!!

          You’re heading west this year? That’s too cool for words — super great news. I wish I lived near Carmel. It’s gorgeous. I reside in a suburb of Los Angeles. Please keep me the loop about your trip, okay?

          Listen, I’ve got some really good advice since the hour is late …

          GO. TO. BED.
          (After all, you need your beauty sleep). 😉

  • Finally…a NAME for this sea I’ve been swimming in! I’m hoping that naming it will help me find my way out.

    The trouble is, there are so many pretty fish swimming around here, and they all say, “Look at me, look at me!” And some of them are even very, very helpful. But for the most part, they’re not getting me closer to my destination.

    Here’s to all of us finding our way!

    • Oh, Elizabeth … you’re SO right!

      All the pretty fish make us stop and stare, don’t they? 🙂

      BUT …

      ” … they’re not getting me closer to my destination.”

      That’s a mouthful! And I share your sentiments.

      Thanks a heap for knocking on my door today — please come back again soon.

  • All the boat operators charge $27, $47, $87, or $97 to ferry you across the Sea of Infocrap, and will often threaten to pitch you until you’re ready to jump in it and drown yourself.

    Would love to see the infographic THIS inspires!

    • What award-winning commentary, Holly — LOVE IT! 😉

      I’d like to see that infographic myself. Conjures up quite an image in my mind.

      And sometimes the boat operators charge upwards of $197 and $497 to ferry you across The Sea Of Infocrap. LOL!

      Thanks so much for putting a smile on my face today. 🙂

  • Hi Melanie,

    I loved this post!

    The term I use is Information Overload, but I think Infocrap is a far better description.

    It’s a good job us humans have filters to quickly sort out the crap from the good stuff.

    Even then it can get too much. I think the hint to discard is in the name. If it’s crap, then get away from it as soon as you can!

    Thanks for all your comments on my blog and tweets too. I much appreciate your support.

    • “If it’s crap, then get away from it as soon as you can!”

      Totally agree.

      “It’s a good job us humans have filters to quickly sort out the crap from the good stuff.”

      Problem is …
      Oftentimes the crap is disguised as good stuff. 😉

      You’re welcome for the comments and Re-Tweets — my pleasure, Hiten!

  • Very funny Melanie. I often find it gives itself another name, like “Free eBook, Download, Webinar, etc…” Also known as the dilution of quality of content to create an opportunity for a sale. Very frigid indeed 😉

    • Hey Fiona! What a joy to see you here.

      This is PERFECT …

      “Also known as the dilution of quality of content to create an opportunity for a sale.”

      Beautifully stated and right on the money.

      Thanks for chiming in and sharing your insights. xoxo

  • hahaha
    that was funny
    yes you are right 🙂

    • Hey Farouk — thanks for swinging by!

      Really enjoyed your guest post on Hiten’s blog — good stuff. 🙂

  • “Somewhere between the little town of reality in which we live and the great city of our dreams and aspirations, out in the blue yonder, lies the Sea Of Infocrap.”

    GREAT job of paraphrasing, Keith — love it! 🙂

    And, yes …
    I believe we’re doomed to spend the rest of our (internet) lives in The Sea Of Infocrap.

    Enjoy your weekend!

    • Hi Mel
      “I believe we’re doomed to spend the rest of our (internet) lives in The Sea Of Infocrap.”

      Never!

      Time to start thinking of ways to part those waves.

  • Mel, your geography really is atrocious.

    Somewhere between the little town of reality in which we live and the great city of our dreams and aspirations, out in the blue yonder, lies the Sea Of Infocrap.
    Unfortunately, that is where many of us spend the rest of our lives.

    Let’s hope not eh?

    Have a good weekend Mel and keep your head above those icy waters.

    Quote cut and carved from original version by Cavett Robert.

  • Lol! I had so much absolute fun reading this post! I think my stomach hurts because I have been laughing so much! 🙂

    But yes, I can point to the sea of Infocrap; but there are just too many of them actually! We need to have warning signals set up for directions!

    • I would have to agree with you, Hajra!

      We’d need to point to several locations on the map, wouldn’t we? LOL!

      Happy to hear you enjoyed a good laugh today. 😉